Hello, guys. How have y’all been?
Do you know that the most and least talked about societal ill that happens in Nigeria is rape? You don’t get, right? What I’m trying to say is that a lot of people talk about rape, it happens a lot of times, but people only focus on one aspect of it and neglect the other aspects that also ought to be spoken about. It us against this backdrop that I am writing this article.
WHAT IS RAPE?
Well, according to the Nigerian Criminal Law, rape is the penal penetration of a female by a male without her express consent, or if the consent was obtained by force, by false pretence, by false representation, or by inducing fear.
CONTROVERSIES SURROUNDING RAPE.
What does this mean? According to the law, only a man can rape a woman. On Twitter last week, girls were bringing out the names of those that have either raped or sexually assaulted them. A man raping a woman is always spoken about, but hey, have we ever say down to think that men also rape men and women also rape men? Nahh, we majority concentrate on a man raping a girl.
Do you also know that under the Nigerian Criminal Law, a man cannot be raped, but only sexually assaulted? Well, yes. Now let us think about the number of unreported rape cases that a guy would have. He is probably just scared to talk, not because he cannot talk, but because he does not want to feel weak and because his story would seem unbelievable. I mean, how can a woman possibly rape a strong man? But these things do happen, and we are failing to look at it.
THE ISSUE OF CONSENT.
If the victim says no, he/she means no. Accept it and do not try to force it. The victim is drunk? Do not attempt to penetrate or touch. The victim pushes your hand away, just drop the issue and do not persuade. The victim is your girlfriend or boyfriend, it does not mean you have their consent everytime.
How about if the victim is your husband or wife? Under the Nigerian Criminal Law, marital rape is not recognised. This means that a couples have unlimited consent to have sex with their spouses whether or not it is agreed to. Why is this so? There have been cases where the husband would literally force himself into his wife, but this is not termed as rape in major parts of Nigeria except Western states.
How about when the victim says no, but her body language says yes? How about when the victim says no and later tells the guy that he didn’t try hard or persuade hard. When he finally trys hard and penetrates, he is called a rapist? These a things that actually happen, and then we hear cases of false rape accusations. But most people only listen to the cries of the female and completely forget that there are two sides to the story.
PENAL PENETRATION ONLY?
Yes, guys. Only penal penetration is recognised by the law. When I say penal penetration, I mean rape can only be commited when the male penetrates his penis into the vagina of the female. How about when he uses an object like a cucumber to penetrate? Nope, that is sexual assault.
THE THIN LINE BETWEEN RAPE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT.
There is a difference between rape and sexual assault. The slightest penal penetration is rape. Penetrating with the fingers/objects or touching a girl’s boobs or private parts without her consent is sexual assault. We should know exactly which is which to avoid false rape accusations. Either ways, both are completely wrong. Do not touch anyone in any sensitive way without their clear and express consent. It damages people psychologically and emotionally.
POST PENETRATION RAPE.
Do you know that if you truly and legally obtain someone’s consent to have sex, and after the penetration has been done, the person objects to the sex, and you refuse to withdraw, it is also rape?
This means that if you do not pull out immediately she says stop, even after you have penetrated, it is rape!
In reality, is this really practicable? Is it possible for a guy to actually pull out at that point? These are things that should be looked at deeply, but please note that it is RAPE, whether or not you can pull out at that point.
The Federal and State governments have to review legislations governing rape and update them to the standards of modern day.
If you have the problem of raping or touching people without their consent, please, you need to stop and seek help. To be honest, it destroys people and damages their lives. It is that bad.
Victims of rape? Speak up! Both males and females, speak up and seek guidance and counselling services. They would go a long way in getting your mental health back together.
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