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Nigerian style of Parenting; Good or bad?

Nigerian parents

Let’s shake some tables this Tuesday morning.

This actually happened some months  ago and it got me thinking critically coz whether I like it or not I’d be a parent some day. It was a weekend and my sisters were around so we decided to sit in the living room with our parents and yeah, the TV was on.
My sister was flipping through the channels and tuned in to a music channel playing a song by Davido (Ada) .

Considering the fact that we had not seen the video before, having been busy during the week and hardly had time for TV we decided to stay and watch the video.
We were watching it peacefully until mum said “ki ni gbogbo eleyi” “in English (what is all this?) ”
My sister looked at her like ‘obviously it’s a music video ‘ then mum went all “take it away” .

The other time we wanted to watch bbnaija she also said the same thing telling us to change the channel as the show encourages promiscuity.

We changed the channel to where she wanted (africa magic Yoruba) and without saying a word to each other, we stood up one after the other to go into our respective rooms. This happens all the time, each person going to their own niche.

The whole situation was funny to me because as learned as my parents are I did not expect them to be that ignorant. I mean don’t watch this don’t watch that do they realise we can watch even more than that on the internet?
They are too immersed in their own little fantasy world to come to terms with the reality that times have changed, they have to renew and review the rules their parents taught them to suit this generation.

Parents complain that their kids don’t open up to them, tell me how they will open up to them when each time they  try to voice out their opinions they “shush” us telling us we should just listen. Thus, making us master the art and act of tuning off.

Don’t let us into go into the boyfriend talk that’s for another day. I mean some Nigerian parents would probably skin you alive if they find out you actually have someone you like and would love to date.

No matter how much you try to satisfy them and do something right they yell and tell you you are not doing it right completely ignoring the time and effort put into it.

They have no idea all these has an effect on the child’s self esteem and confidence. He/she starts thinking “what if I can’t do it right” when they want to take a big step in their life.

Encourage your children to grow. Most African parents think education is everything yes, education is important but in this current generation it is not everything. Encourage your child in whatever extracurricular activities he/she is good at and has passion for.
Get to know your children, get involved in their lives, what they do in their spare time, the kinda talent they exhibit and the only way to do this is through EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION which most Nigerian  parents lack.

Although I’m glad some new generation parents are getting more enlightened and rectifying some of these shortcomings.

It is from their chat with you and freely voicing out their opinion that you get to know how each of them views life and how you can involve yourself in their lives.

But when all you do is condemn everything it’s only natural they recoil into their respective shells. It’s funny how some parents says “I never imagined my child could do this” whenever they find out something bad but the real question is “have I been communicating effectively with my children?

We understand you love us, we know you want the best for us and believe me we know the right from the wrong.

It’s really left to us to make our choices. We know you don’t want us making life-threatening mistakes but it’s solely in our hands you have gotta trust us enough to make the right decision for ourselves.

We love you but we also need you to be more open-minded less demanding and more enlightened.

New generation parents, please do not make the same mistakes our parents made. Instill discipline but also instill love.

 

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