Relationships come with a lot of twists and turns, and can be complicated sometimes, and that is what the agony aunt series helps you with.
Compromise, – sounds like a really big word, does it not? Everyday you hear, relationships are all about compromise – well, true, but, can all things actually be compromised? What do you think?
Before you answer that,
Let’s take a look at this e-mail I got from a young lady:
Dear Agony Aunt,
I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. We actually met through a mutual friend two months before we became official. Although, generally, the relationship is good, and he is a really nice guy; I have one issue that has been bothering me for a while now.
My boyfriend does not buy me things, and before you all start saying my boyfriend is not my father or bank or whatever; I do buy him things. I personally believe in giving your partner small, unexpected gifts here and there, instead of waiting for special occasions.
Special occasion or no special occasion, I do not get anything. Anything at all.
We are both working, so it is not like he does not have a source of income. There are times when he says he is broke, and I do give him money that i don’t even collect back. It gets really tiring when you are the only one putting effort in a particular area, or when there is no reciprocation.
All I want is to be spoiled, or at least buy me something once in a while, even if it is a small perfume or chocolate, or food! One of my male friends told me that guys buy gifts for girls they really like or value. Does that mean I am in a one-sided relationship?
This thing is eating me up, and I do not even know how to approach the issue with him.
Now, this was my take on it:
It would be a lie if I told you that I do not understand what you are talking about, because I do. Perfectly. Generally, ladies like to feel special and loved by their man; and one way they like to be showed this is through gifts, especially random gifts.
However, that your boyfriend does not buy you things does not necessarily mean that he is not as invested in the relationship as you are. Maybe he shows that through giving you his time.
Ever heard of love language? No? Good thing you have the agony aunt series! Love language can be words of affirmation, Acts of service, Quality time, Giving gifts and physical touch.
Perhaps that is not his love language, and perhaps he is not aware of your love language.
This is why communication is very important in relationship. So, the next time you meet your man , sit him down with a very chilled glass of his favourite wine – or juice- and tell him your love language. Encourage him to tell you yours too!
I do hope you find this soothing.