Hey guys. ??
On today’s episode of Only On Vasiti – Agony Aunt Series, we shall be looking at trust in the relationship, and we’ve got a report to back this up. Let’s look at this story.
Hi Aunt Agony,
Great job you are doing helping people fix up their love lives, keep it up. I am 21 year old Undergraduate .I am in my finals, hallelujah . I fell in love with this girl in my third year. She’s a complete package; beautiful, smart and God fearing. The only flaw is that she doesn’t trust me around women. Right from time I’ve been used to being around girls and I am not too bad looking myself. My parents have six children of which I am the only boy. And coupled with that, I am very influential in my immediate environment. I am an executive of my faculty, I have represented them at competitions and my father is pretty known in the Engineering sector. Now all this comes with a lot of attention from the female folk even when they understand that you are in a relationship. I am a faithful guy, never cheated and never will so help me God. But my babe is extra whenever she sees me around girls. I love her so much and see us even getting married in a couple of years. She curved me a couple of times before finally agreeing to be my girlfriend. And now she gets all red when she sees me around girls. One time she busted my brain. She came to my department to see without informing me. I was supposed to meet with another student leader who was a lady, a pretty one at that. When she entered the office, she met the lady laughing at one of the jokes I made while we were planning for an event. Feeling threatened, she came over to where I sat on the office chair and kissed me, Aunt, she kissed me!!!, in an official meeting. I don’t know how this works in ladies but, was she trying to protect her territory? Was she trying to say to the lady I was meeting “ Yo bitch, he’s mine”, whatever her agenda was, it didn’t pan out well because I lost my link to a sponsorship from that lady, she felt that my girlfriends behavior was inappropriate and she was a third wheel and had to leave. I personally do not like public display of affection and its worse when it is spear headed because of lack of trust. That’s not the only situation where this has happened. She has the pin to my phone and her finger print is registered on it. She frequently goes through my messages, call logs and social media to be sure that I am not talking to any other girl. In as much as she wants to ensure that I am not cheating, this for me is way over the top. One time she came over to my place, I went out to buy recharge card and left my phone behind, I had just gotten this phone and saved my mom’s name as “Love of my life’, my mom called while I was away and she on seeing the name on the phone picked and angrily asked .’who is this’ when she heard the voice of an middle aged woman she dropped the call. When I got back, I wasn’t prudent enough to notice that my mom called because it wasn’t a missed call, it was picked. What I did notice however was that she was moody all through her stay at my place, we usually make out but that day she wouldn’t let me touch her. When she was about to leave she said to me “it’s okay if you like elderly women, I mean sugar mummies, but at least let me know’ Omo I wan craze, I was still trying to wrap my head around this and she hurriedly left not even giving me that the chance to escort her. My mom called back and asked me who the girl was that’s how the pieces came together in my head. The kind format wey I give my mama that day, I no believe am. But really though, I love this girl soo much but I need her to trust me as much as I trust her. We’ve talked about it severally but to no avail. I really don’t wanna loose her. My guys have told me to break up with her but I believe that she’s already a part of my future. What do I do?
Lol. I totally understand where the girl is coming from. It’s really natural for jealousy to arise in a healthy relationship. It shows that the girl cares a lot. In fact, if your babe never gets jealous where necessary , you need to question whether you are the only person she is seeing. Shehas every right to be jealous based on the type of guy she is dating, and of course with the way men are being scum, I’m sure she does not want to get her heart broken.
But, we need to understand that trust is the basis of every relationship. Where there is no trust, that relationship cannot stand. What is the point of dating when your significant other does not even trust you?
Girls, please listen up. NEVER CHECK YOUR GUY’S PHONE WITHOUT HIS EXPRESS PERMISSION. NEVER EVER! ?? I mean why look for something that is not looking for you? First, you’re invading his privacy, its rude, and guys hate it a lot. By doing so, you are just ruining the relationship. If you do not trust you guy, please let the relationship end instead of going overboard just to prove he is yours. If you feel he is not giving you the type of vibe you want, tell him boy bye, and don’t stress, but do not go through his phone or pick his calls. If he tells you that you are the only one, then it’s left for you to believe him. If you don’t, you could leave.
Guys, please, girls get jealous easily, they’re humans. Edakun, if she complains about something, try to work it out. See if you could adjust. The fact that she complained means this is something she has noticed overtime in the relationship. If you love her, you’d make reasonable sacrifices for her.
Anonymous, I’d advice you to talk to her and convince her that you are not cheating. If she still misbehaves, then you have to let her go, because there’s really no other way to convince her.
If you have any advice for him on this issue, please drop them at the comments section below.
Also, send your relationship issues to email@example.com and they would be addressed on the coming episodes of Agony Aunt.
See y’all next week Thursday. ?